By Tracey Terry

September 27, 2022

#boundaries, #strongboundaries

Where are your boundaries? 🧐 Do you give it much thought? 🧐

On the weekend I realised I have lacked many boundaries for myself pretty much my whole life. I have generally been all too eager to either try to please others or against them and in the process punish myself by then feeling guilty or resentful and angry at myself. This self deprecation resulted in me unconsciously doing things I know are not healthy for me, as well as not pursuing the things I love and enjoy. It seems I was too busy being the martyr – too busy doing things for others, giving them my time and giving no time to myself. I had no boundaries and was unknowingly punishing myself. 😬

We were visiting the beautiful and majestic Cania Gorge 💜. I decided to go for a walk by myself along the river – something I never do on my own as I am always too busy, supposedly being responsible for others and because I was scared to go out into the world on my own. For years I have wanted to be a healer – to make a difference in others lives. I have studied endless courses, books, seminars & hold several degrees in different healing methods. I truly love everything spiritual and discovering more about what an incredible part energy plays in our lives and how I connect more with my higher self. However when it comes to practising I have been frozen in fear – too scared to see clients and making excuses around I am too busy, the kids need me, my family need me, our normal business and finances need me, I don’t know enough yet and aren’t ready, blah, blah, blah. I never thought to just put some boundaries around myself and say to myself and the world – this is what I am doing! To acknowledge that I will still be there for my family and other responsibilities without letting them take over my life. I can learn to balance being able to practise my craft, what my soul yearns for while not allowing fear and self sabotage to enter this boundary.

I realised that the reason I never had time for my healing work was (apart from the fear) that I didn’t let the universe know my boundaries and allow divine intelligence to assist me to keep them. I need to make clear that this is what I am doing and that I will need time and assistance to enable me to practise my skills. I know deep down that I am here to help myself and others to heal – to allow those who want to heal to find what it is they need to realise & become aware of and work on (as I have done) so they too can flourish in all areas of their lives. I also realised that I have avoided looking within myself by always staying on the move and thereby becoming the victim & blaming things supposedly outside my control for my inability to follow my path. 

As I was collecting flowers I felt drawn to make a flower essence – feeling I needed strength, courage, wisdom & confidence.. this will be my new Cania essence. I then saw this thistle (pictured above) & thought I could nip a bit of the flower from the top. It was however very clear that this was not ok with the thistle! This beautiful plant obviously has very firm boundaries around how much of itself it will give to others. It did allow the butterfly to take a little nectar but not too much!! A great metaphor for how I need to establish my boundaries. I then noticed I had passed a lot of prickly pear with the same energy and strength. I have at times been very much a prickly pear when not establishing my boundaries.

I have allowed so much fear to enter my life, that I’m not good enough, don’t know enough and that I am just basically scared to go out on my own. As I walked through the bush and along a creek it was quite hysterical as I heard all sorts of noises, saw snakes & other animals and with every noise I would jump and squeal. I could feel the fear in the pit of my stomach. So I sat and connected with my higher self and did some processes to transform this fear so that it became a peaceful joy and an appreciation for nature and myself. I felt a stillness & certainty that I had nothing to fear & by placing boundaries around myself & within myself I can change my life. I won’t need to let my emotions control me and then I will achieve far more joy & peace and realise my goals to help others do the same. I also became aware that I don’t have to be perfect either as this was also keeping me stuck.

I felt immensely proud of myself for doing this walk on my own. Everyone else in our group went 4 wheel driving for the day – sitting in the car for most of the day is something I am not particularly fond of however I normally go because everyone else is and I feel guilty to say no. However I felt a strong desire to stay and be on my own. So I made a decision to put up my boundary that morning and say no thanks – it was so uncomfortable to do that. I realised I would much prefer to walk, read, journal and reflect on how I can improve and set some goals for my life. I was so happy I made that decision and set my first boundary in a long time as by giving myself time and space and facing some of my fears I learnt so much & feel I really transformed so many aspects of myself that were not serving me and that I have been hiding from. 

Thinking of boundaries also caused me to reflect on our boundaries in terms of the world & what is going on around us at this time. Are you holding boundaries in terms of what you will let some media outlet or government agency tell you to do when you can feel and know it’s not in your best interests? Are you allowing yourself to be coerced or making your own decisions? From all I have read and listening to Doctors who are taking a stand it seems people’s immune systems are being destroyed by the ongoing barrage. Our immune system is our own natural boundary from illness and you are far stronger maintaining your own health than allowing your body to receive experimental genetic 🪡 containing all sorts of unnatural ingredients that seem to also intensify any existing illnesses. So the boundary I would ask you to look at here is are you discerning all the information you are being fed – from both sides of the spectrum? I urge you to do your own research and sit with your feelings on this.

Thanks for reading and I hope this article inspires you to also set yourself some boundaries in your life so you can follow your dreams and not someone elses. 💜🙏

Tracey Terry

About the author

Tracey is a progressive therapist, author, investor, business owner, wife and mother of 3. Having gone through her own journey of healing she is passionate about connecting and helping others to do the same using a range of modalities and tools to tune in on what it is your soul and your body require.